Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Dilema - job / mommy?

Yesterday nite, I have been thinking a lot about what actually I want in my life...

All started when I got a new from my colleague that he will be leaving soon - better package/offer and career advancement/grow as he said..Actually, he still will doing the same task/job, just different is the salary package and different company...I really do feel happy for him even though it is by no surprise (he has been telling me, he want resign since day 1 I know him ~ for 5 years!!)And, the Pros is: He still young + bachelor = lots of challenge and opportunity is waiting for him..

And, yesterday evening, when I bring Jonathan & Isaac to playground as usual, I meet another mommy who telling me that from next year onward, I won't be seeing her during weekday anymore. Reason: She change job, also same: career growth, job satisfaction (self growth)..and most important thing: MONEY, can give her family a better life..She also said, in another word, sacrifice time with kids for better living/MONEY...

When I think back, actually, I do have few opportunities of being promoted which being offered by my company since 2003, 2004 & 2005. Too bad, I reject all of them!! Now kinda thinking back, what a waste... me really like donkey...

At the end of 2003, my boss offered me to be posted as expatriate either based in China or Korea. To set up new regional office, help open and stable the market, assist the local distributor to prepare to handle it themselves, etc. Duration: 2 years. Or, posting to Australia, for 6 mths period each times. At that time, without thinking or consider about it, I reject the offer...Even though, my brother keep encourage me to grab that offered, assure me that I'm able to handle it. As for my hubby, he neither object/protest nor encourage me at all!! He just don't bother at all....That moment, I really firm with my decision: "If you still asked me to take the offer, I will resign....he,he...(thinking back, I really 'siao lan' lor...really crazy)... can said like that to my boss.
Reason: I just can't spend less time with my precious son - Jonathan...

Then, in 2004, my boss offered again another career advancement. Be the head dept of medical division. And, nicely, I reject that offer again.
Same reason: Because of my precious son. I just want to see him grown up, be there for him when he need me, see his first milestone, etc....I know if I accept this offer, I will have less time for family, cause I have 'more burden' and stress for my job - to do the BEST..

Finally, end of 2005 / early 2006, last offered: Being regional Manager to manage 3 office - China, Korea and Malaysia for the product I'm assigned to...which you know the answer by now liao...I didn't grab it either...

Yesterday scenario, really make me take a seat and think why certain people in different situation/background would take such move - career advancement, money, self satisfaction (even tho sacrifice their time with their kids) etc..and myself still 'like idiot' or 'donkey', still handle same position/job for few years already without any career advancement...

Do I really want it to be this way for my life?? Even tho, I keep saying because I want to spend more time with my kids, but, I'm still working and 'tight' with my job schedule/task which I don't really see any different at all if I took my ex-boss offered few years back with more money to spend ler!!


Conclusion: Till now, I still can't decide it and zzzzzzzzzz off half way (too tired gua).....while thinking of it yesterday nite, but, awake when little Isaac cried and said 'nen nen'.... ;p Guess, being working mommy is just not that easy at all, but, seeing my baby Isaac, said 'nen nen', cried, without open his eyes - immediately grab the feeding bottle for milk milk and then, pass it back to me gently and doze off within second really do give me lots of satisfaction, I could said at least!!

(what nonsense I'm talking here....)

3 comments:

chanelwong said...

hmm..cannot have the best of both..
not bad you have so many promotion option unlike me...

Josephine said...

but, I didn't grab it ler...he,he..

Wai Wai said...

That is mummy... but mummy must have time for herself also, her friends, her private time, so do go out and have ladies talk, shop without the kids and have fun....without feeling guilty...